


A Perfectly Normal Sushi Murder

by BaileyBelle



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, lots of lucifer shananigans, lucifer just started talking in my head, mostly about chloe finding acceptance, okay so I lied about the romance being on hold, repairing the partnership, sometimes the characters decide what they need to talk about, the romance is kind of on hold
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-06 02:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18379085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaileyBelle/pseuds/BaileyBelle
Summary: After seeing Lucifer's devil face, Chloe feels like her world is falling apart. When she finally talks to Lucifer, she asks him to "get back to normal" and solve cases with her while she processes the truth. But Lucifer has no idea how to act "normal". 😂 Can Chloe come to terms with being a partner to the devil himself?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been dying for season 4 of Lucifer to drop. In desperation, I started writing this fan fiction yesterday. And then Netflix dropped the preview video! I guess this is kind of like going to the bathroom to make the waiter come ask for your order? Anyhoo, I wanted to post this partial chapter to incentivize myself to finish this before S4 drops.
> 
> There's a specific place in Chloe's recovery from the shock of seeing Lucifer's face that I want her to be in for this story. So let's just assume the following scenes happened without me having to write out all the gory details. Or in other words...

[Voice over: "Previously on Lucifer"]

"What happened, Luci?" Amenadiel asked.

Lucifer leaned on the bar in the penthouse, jacket off and the two top buttons of his shirt undone. "Well, where shall I begin? Pierce tried to kill Chloe and I. I stabbed him with Maze's blade. Cain, the world's first murderer, is now dead."

"You killed a mortal, Lucifer?!"

"Yes." Lucifer set his whiskey glass down with a clink. "Yes, I did."

"There will be consequences for this, Luci. Father forbids us from killing mortals."

"Consequences? I've seen some of those. Before Pierce died, I decided to remind him of his regrets about killing Charlotte." Amenadiel raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to ensure he ended up where he belonged. In hell. But apparently that made me feel like my old devilish self, and..."'

Lucifer looked down, toyed with his glass of whiskey, then looked back at Amenadiel. "The Detective saw my devil face, Brother. She was..." Lucifer paused and looked away, throat working. "...terrified."

Lucifer turned, suddenly cheerful, and poured more whiskey into his glass. "And rightly so!" he exclaimed. "Who wouldn't be afraid of the devil?" Amenadiel looked sad at Lucifer denying his feelings. "So I ran. Or rather, flew."

"You need to talk with Chloe about this, Luci," Amenadiel insisted. Lucifer shook his head. "At the very least to ensure she doesn't start to tell other mortals about us."

Lucifer shook his head. "No. No, I don't believe she will. No, I'll just... stay away." He drained his glass in one shot. "It's better this way. Humans and the divine shouldn't mix."

[Camera cuts]

Chloe sat on Linda's couch in her office. "I don't know what to do. I keep remembering what I saw. His face..." Chloe took a shuddering breath. "Lucifer isn't who I thought he was."

Linda tilted her head. Her thick glasses reflected the afternoon light through the blinds. "But Lucifer is who he's always said he is. It's still a shock to find out he's telling the truth, of course. It certainly was for me. I struggled with feeling safe, feeling normal."

Linda smiled gently at a memory. "But after I saw Lucifer's face, a friend told me that I'm still the same old Linda Martin. He's still the same old Lucifer. You're still Chloe Decker. Nothing's changed. You can rebuild your world around this new truth and still hold onto your own identity."

Chloe looked away, pondering that. "I just feel like my world has turned upside down... But maybe I need to focus on righting my world. Being normal. Getting back to work." Linda nodded.

[Camera cuts]

Ella was drunk. She stumbled a bit as she walked down the darkened sidewalk. Lucifer wrapped an arm around Ella to steady her, and advised her in a gentle voice. "Look, I know Charlotte and Pierce's deaths came as a shock, but this isn't you."

"Maybe this is the new me," Ella slurred as they both weaved. "It's nice to be drunk. It's fun to hang out with people who are DFT."

"Do you mean DTF?" Lucifer corrected.

"Yeah, whatever." Ella continued her last train of thought. "It's easier that way. Have fun. Leave. Then none of your friends can just up and die on you."

"That sounds very... empty." Lucifer stopped walking. "It also sounds very... familiar."

[Camera cuts]

Dan is at the precinct, looking worried. "Chloe, you shouldn't be tracking down armed killers without backup. We can find a babysitter for Trixie. I'll go with you."

"No, Dan, I have to follow this lead before another person dies." Chloe had a stubborn look on her face as she put on her jacket. Dan raised an eyebrow. Chloe looked at him, resolute. "I'll be careful, I promise."

[Camera cuts]

Chloe cautiously walked through the darkened warehouse, her gun in her hand. A gun's safety clicked off behind her. "Freeze," the gunman said.

[Camera cuts]

Lucifer struggled with the gunman and head butted him. The gunman slipped to the ground, unconscious. Lucifer straightened his cuffs and dusted off his suit. He turned to leave. Chloe put a hand out. "Lucifer..."

[Fade to black, and back.]

"Lucifer... Please, let's talk."

Lucifer slowly turned back. The glow from a nearby cone of yellow light glinted off his eyes. Chloe was relieved his eyes weren't red, like the last time she had seen him. Chloe kept her hand out, even though it was shaking. "I know I reacted badly when I first saw... your face. It scared me." She sucked in a breath. "It still scares me. But you could have hurt me a long time ago, and you didn't."

Lucifer looked at Chloe's hand, but didn't take it. "I would never hurt you, Detective."

Chloe dropped her hand. "You've been my partner for all this time. The least you can do is talk to me."

Lucifer shifted nervously, still half hidden in the darkness. "I have enjoyed our partnership, Detective." Chloe could tell his walls were still up. "But I wasn't sure whether you wanted to continue working with me after you knew who I am."

"I won't lie, Lucifer. Knowing that you were the actual devil, that my housemate is a demon and your brother is an angel... It really messed me up for a while." Chloe paused, gathering her thoughts. "For you, nothing has changed. You've always been, well, Lucifer. But for me, everything has changed. I mean, a week ago I didn't believe in God, let alone devils or angels or demons. And it's just..." Chloe looked up and took a deep breath, trying not to cry or scream, which were the two reactions she had when thinking about the fact that Lucifer was really the devil. "It's... too big to think about."

Lucifer took a step towards the light, the corners of his mouth turned down. "Believe me, Detective, the last thing I want is to drive you insane."

"I don't think there's any danger of me ending up in a straight jacket." Lucifer quirked his head and said nothing. "But I really need some time to process this. I can't do my job if I'm struggling with an existential crisis every day. I just need... for everything to be normal for a while. And being normal means having you back as my partner."

"Really?" Lucifer asked. "You would partner with the devil himself?"

Chloe choked on a laugh. "Yes, I guess so? I just... want us to try for a while. To try to get back to normal. Even if it... even if it means being a partner with-- with the devil."

Lucifer still wasn't buying it. "So you want us to go right back into the old routine, solving murders, fighting crime, catching sinners--"

"Lucifer!" Chloe exclaimed. "Is that why you teamed up with me? To punish sinners?"

"No, Detective. Well, maybe, at first. But later on, it was more about seeking justice."

Chloe's mouth went flat. "Is justice what you did to Marcus?"

"He tried to kill us both!" Lucifer protested.

"So you shot an entire gang and stabbed our lieutenant in the chest?" Chloe crossed her arms.

"Cain. I stabbed Cain. The immortal man who masqueraded as a lieutenant in order to try and get close to you so you could break his curse."

Chloe stared at Lucifer. "Cain." She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Lucifer, this is exactly what I mean. I can't handle random biblical characters just showing up in my life. Who's next, Eve seeking revenge for Cain's death?"

"Well, not exactly seeking revenge, but--"

"Lucifer, stop! I can't handle this! I just need to be normal!" Chloe shouted.

Lucifer threw up his hands in defense. "Okay. Fine. Normal. We'll try it." He straightened his cuffs as he warmed up to the idea. "Normal partnership. Normal cases. No biblical figures or angelic beings at all. Well, aside from me." Lucifer smiled at Chloe.

Chloe took a deep breath. "Yep. Just you." Chloe made a circular hand motion at him. "Just the same old... Lucifer." Chloe cringed at the devil's name. She bent down and started cuffing the killer, who was beginning to stir. "Okay, let's get this suspect back to the precinct."

"Coming, my _normal_ partner," Lucifer purred. Chloe glared at him.

\---

Dan walked up to Chloe's desk, engrossed in a case folder. "Next case dropped, Chloe." Dan looked up to find Lucifer leaning back in Chloe's chair, his red-soled Italian loafers resting on her desk. "Lucifer." Dan's lip curled around the name, and then he tried to be more civil. "So. You're back."

"Glad to see you missed me during my absence, Daniel."

"I didn't," Dan muttered. He spoke louder, "You, uh, missed the fallout after the Lieutenant was murdered."

"Oh, do we have a new lieutenant yet? Is it a woman again? I'll have to get in her good graces." Lucifer raised his eyebrows and looked pleased at this new challenge.

Dan's tempter snapped. He loomed over Lucifer and pointed a finger at him. "I know you k--" Dan cut himself off and glanced around the police precinct. He lowered his voice. "I know you were the last one to speak to Pierce. He needed to be brought to justice..." Dan whispered emphatically, "Charlotte deserved justice."

"Pierce is getting the justice he deserves. In hell."

Chloe walked up to her desk and put a hand on Dan's shoulder. "Not now. Not here," she whispered. "Later." Chloe leaned to look at the folder in Dan's hand and raised her voice to a normal conversational tone. "So, that looks like a new case file."

"Yep. A body was found at a restaurant called..." Dan checked the file. "Sushi Go Round. A regular customer was surprised the restaurant wasn't open, looked in the window, and saw the owner laying on the floor. Forensics is already processing the scene."

"Ah, there you go, Detective. A perfectly normal sushi murder to get us back into our good cop, devil cop routine." Chloe glared. "Too soon?" Lucifer asked as she walked away.

\---

Lucifer opened the glass door to Sushi Go Round and held up the yellow crime scene tape for Chloe. The empty sushi train made a lonely circuit around the various police officers and forensic technicians. A body dressed in casual clothing was lying on the gray concrete floor behind the counter. Their feet could just be seen from the door.

Ella Lopez crouched down beside the victim, taking pictures. She stood up to meet Lucifer and Chloe.

"So what happened to this poor sod, my _perfectly normal_ forensic scientist?" Lucifer asked. Chloe glared at him.

"Lucifer!" Ella immediately hugged him. Lucifer stiffened and looked uncomfortable. Ella lightly punched him in the arm. "See, I knew you'd be back on the crime fighting scene after our talk."

Chloe looked confused, but shrugged. "So, Ella, what do we have?"

"Meet Sam Kobert. 28 years old. Owner of Sushi Go Round. Cause of death was blunt trauma to the back of the head. The death was initially classified as accidental. When forensics first looked at the scene, it looked like our vic slipped and fell."

Ella gestured to a puddle of brown liquid that was pooled at the fallen victim's feet. Lucifer used his shoe to nudge a broken bottle of soy sauce away from the puddle. "Well, this gives a new meaning to the phrase hitting the sauce."

Chloe looked at the body and then back to Ella. "But it wasn't an accident?"

"Nope. Our 'accident' smelled fishy." Ella grinned at her own pun.

"Are you sure it wasn't the mackerel?" Lucifer piped up.

"No, take a look at this puddle. See how the slip marks point back towards the victim's feet?" Chloe nodded, and Lucifer looked bored and wandered off. "If the vic slipped and fell backwards..." Ella dramatically mimed slipping, raising her leg in front of her. "...then their foot would have pushed the puddle away from where their body landed."

"So someone staged this to look like the person slipped."

"Yep. I don't even think the vic was killed here. The head wounds are consistent with striking a concrete floor, but the blood spatter at the scene is all wrong."

Chloe looked at the victim. "This is a body dump. By someone who knew our vic worked here."

"Exactly!" Ella exclaimed.

Chloe looked up to see Lucifer at a cutting board with a knife. "Lucifer, what are you doing?"

Lucifer intently stared at the fish he was slicing into thin slices. "Just making a snack, Detective. Would you like some sashimi?" Chloe shook her head and started marching towards Lucifer. "No? Maybe a nigiri? Let me just get you some sushi rice." Chloe grabbed Lucifer's elbow as just as he popped open the rice cooker. "Oh, it's still warm. You're in luck, Detective."

Chloe frowned and dropped Lucifer's elbow. "Wait, that makes no sense."

"No, it makes perfect sense." Lucifer said, popping a piece of sushi in his mouth. "Room temperature fish, warm rice." Chloe looked annoyed at him talking with his mouth full. Lucifer swallowed. "It's how all sushi should be served."

Chloe ignored Lucifer and examined the rice cooker. "No, it doesn't make sense that the rice cooker was even on." Lucifer continued to use the bamboo mat to make a seaweed wrapped sushi roll. Chloe looked back at the body on the floor. "Our victim is in plain clothes, without any apron on or gloves on to handle raw fish. But the rice cooker is on, the cutting board is out, and the train is on."

"Maybe he was interrupted in the middle of food prep?" Ella hypothesized. "Started to make the sushi for this evening, and then had to leave?"

Chloe shook her head. "And then the killer brought him back here? I don't know what happened, but it doesn't add up."

Lucifer smirked, putting some sushi into a plastic to go container. "All these wonderful clues that you've noticed just because I opened the rice cooker. See, Detective, you need me to help you solve your perfectly normal murder cases." Lucifer smiled, and handed Chloe the container. "For the road. I assume we're off to question this poor sap's family or friends."

Chloe made a face and handed the container back to Lucifer. "We've got a home address from the vic's wallet. Let's go." Chloe walked out of the restaurant, and Lucifer followed, snagging a piece of seaweed to munch on in the car.


	2. Chapter 2

The apartment building's buzzer was broken, but Chloe and Lucifer waited until a tenant helpfully held open the front door. They climbed the stairs to the fourth floor.

"Apartment 42. Looks like this is the place," Chloe said. She knocked loudly a couple times, but no one answered. "I guess no one's home." Chloe walked down the hallway to the window to peer at the apartment's balcony. "Records show our vic doesn't have any family. If they lived alone, we may need to get a warrant."

Chloe turned back to see Lucifer pushing the apartment door open. "It's unlocked," he said in a nonchalant tone.

Chloe narrowed her eyes. "Was it unlocked before you touched it?" she asked suspiciously.

"Isn't that sort of a schrödinger's cat question? I mean it's possible that the door wasn't entirely latched, and by touching it I could have either pushed it open or closed it."

"Uh-huh." Chloe didn't look convinced. "You're being evasive, Lucifer. Did you use some sort of supernatural power to open the door?"

"How would one tell if a skill is supernatural? I mean, some humans are incredibly talented at lock-picking. Amazingly sensitive fingers." Lucifer held up his hands and wiggled his fingers.

"Uh, excuse me?" Chloe and Lucifer turned, startled. A heavily tattooed person with bed head, wearing dinosaur print pajama bottoms and a white shirt, was standing in apartment 42's door frame. "Did you just knock?" they asked, looking confused.

Chloe blushed at being caught talking about lock picking. "Yes, um, we were just--" She took a deep breath. "Hi, I'm Chloe Decker from the LAPD. Does Sam Kobert live here?"

"Look, if this is about the parking fines, Sam's not here."

"This isn't about parking fines. It's a pretty serious matter. Can we come in?"

The person shifted, looking nervous. "No, I'd, uh, rather you not. The place is a mess. Can we talk here?"

Police protocol was normally to make sure the next-of-kin was sitting down when they were told a victim was dead, but... "Okay, sure. So, uh, this afternoon, we found Sam... dead."

"Oh, shit." The person leaned against the doorframe. "Shit, they owe me so much rent. God, I'm going to have to clean out their stuff."

"Believe me, God has zero interest in Sam's worldly possessions," Lucifer said.

Chloe shot Lucifer a look. "Right, because God is... Um, not pertinent to the matter at hand." Chloe tried to get back on track. "So you're Sam's roommate?"

"Yeah. We rarely see each other. I work night shifts as a bartender and Sam is at their restaurant during the day. What happened to 'em?"

"Took a swan dive into the concrete," Lucifer said.

"Lucifer!" Chloe admonished. "It looks like Sam slipped and fell at Sushi Go Round. They hit their head on the floor."

"Damn. I told 'em to get more non-slip pads, but the restaurant wasn't profitable yet." The roommate was clearly in shock and babbling a bit. "Said they couldn't afford it. Especially with that rival sushi place."

"Sam had a rival?"

"Yeah, some restaurant was copying Sam's signature dishes. Even started using the same fishmonger."

"Do you remember the name of the rival?"

"Not really. Sam and I didn't talk much. Sam always called 'em jughead."

Chloe looked confused. "Jughead?"

"Yeah. One time, they were both at a restaurant supply store. The jerk kept following Sam around, trying to figure out what ingredients Sam was using. Sam got mad and dropped a gallon jug of soy sauce on their foot. So Sam called 'em jughead."

Lucifer and Chloe exchanged glances. "Soy sauce?"

"Yep. Might of even been a 5 gallon jug of soy sauce." The roommate's eyes got wide. "I mean, it didn't really hurt 'em. Jughead walked it off, so it wasn't like assault or anything. But after that jughead tried to make Sam's life hell. Things like signing up Sushi Go Round up for Groupon. They made a buy 1 meal get 2 meals free coupon that never expired. This one time in the summer, Sam left their car window down, and jughead put soy sauce in the window track and threw fish skin in their car. Sam's car reeked. It just kept escalating."

"Any idea what the rival's restaurant was called?" Chloe asked.

"Something Grill? It definitely had Grill in the name." The housemate paused. "Why are you so interested in Sam's business?"

"We're just tying up loose ends." Chloe changed the subject to a more difficult topic. "So it looks like from our records that Sam didn't have any family. There's no marriage record."

"Yeah, Sam's mom is dead. Sam wasn't married. Kind of a loner."

"The LAPD needs a person to... make arrangements for Sam's body. It seems like you're the only contact we have."

"Oh God, I gotta pay for a funeral?" Both Chloe and Lucifer cringed at the word God. "I guess I can sell their Xbox so I can cremate them? Shit."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Chloe said, feeling very uncomfortable. "And thank you for your time. I'll have someone from the station get in contact with you. Can I get your name and phone number?"

\---

Lucifer and Chloe sat in the car, fighting LA traffic to get back to the station. "I never noticed how often people do that," Chloe said.

"Do what? Leave behind no next of kin other than a grumpy roommate?"

"No, how often people say the word 'God'."

"Thank you, Detective!" Lucifer exclaimed. "Finally, you understand how bloody annoying it is. 'Oh God' this. 'Oh God' that. I can't escape him."

Chloe was quiet for a moment. "I know you have a difficult relationship with-- with your father. Oh wow, I can't even imagine... I mean, you're literally God's son."

"One of many, yes. I have lots of siblings."

"Are any of your siblings here on earth? Besides Amenadiel."

"Most of them are in the Silver City. Although my sister Azrael visited recently. She's the angel of death."

Chloe slammed on the brakes before almost hitting the car in front of her. "The angel of death?"

"Yes," Lucifer said, taking his hand off the dashboard and attempting to adjust his seat belt.

"Was she here because someone died?" Chloe sounded mildly panicked. "Was it when Charlotte died?"

"Azrael usually guides all souls onto the afterlife, but Amenadiel actually carried Charlotte to heaven. No, when I last saw Azrael, she was here on a social visit."

"Amenadiel carried Charlotte..." Chloe blinked rapidly, her eyes stinging with tears. "This is... this is too much Lucifer. I can't..."

"Right, sorry, back to more normal topics. What do you think of our conversation with Sam's roommate?"

"Um, I..." Chloe cleared her throat and took a couple of deep breaths. "The story about 'jughead' was interesting. The rivalry started when Sam dropped a gallon of soy sauce on jughead's foot, and Sam was arranged to look like they slipped on a puddle of soy sauce. It's a pretty big coincidence. Plus the motive fits with a crime of passion. It's possible they got into a fight somewhere else, the rival shoved Sam and killed them."

"And then bought Sam back to the restaurant?" Lucifer sounded skeptical.

"I guess, maybe? It doesn't really make sense. I think we need to track down this rival and talk with them."

"Right! Time to get a handle on this jughead."

\---

Chloe, Lucifer, and Dan all gathered in the precinct conference room.

"Okay, so we know our rival sushi chef was copying the same dishes as our vic," Chloe stated. "They both used the same suppliers. Maybe we can question the supplier employees, see if they remember our vic dropping the soy sauce jug on the rival's foot? Then maybe we can get the rival's name?"

Dan spoke while examining a case file. "Our victim was pretty paranoid about people discovering their secret ingredients. No books. They must have used cash for their supply purchases. Credit card records don't show anything that look like a restaurant supplier or a fish seller."

"I believe the term is fishmonger, Daniel," Lucifer corrected.

"How do you know anything about fishing?" Chloe idly asked, scanning a case file.

"I once did a favor for a deep sea fishing fleet owner. He was quite particular about the fishy lingo."

Chloe lowered the case file and glared at Lucifer. "And what was the terms of this favor? His immortal soul?"

"No, Detective, normal people don't do favors for souls. The chap just took his vessels south and caught some... very white fish. In brown sacks."

Dan looked up from his case file. "Did you just admit to smuggling drugs?"

"I would never admit to helping set up the west coast's largest cocaine run. I'm not that stupid."

Ella walked in and slapped a folder full of papers on the table. "Well, I can say that our dead chef really liked high-end fish. There's not a single escolar or Asian catfish in their restaurant."

Chloe looked confused. "What do you mean, Ella?"

"We know our vic's rival was copying the dishes, including using the same fish supplier. Every sushi grade fishmonger offers different types of fish. So I wondered if we could track down the restaurant's supplier and the rival if we knew what types of fish our vic bought. I ran the DNA profiles of all the fish in the restaurant."

"That's a great idea," Chloe said. "What did you find?

"All the vic's fish are exactly what the labels say. That's pretty rare in the sushi industry. Most people can't tell the difference, so cheaper fish is often sold as a more expensive fish. For example, Asian catfish is often substituted for Halibut." Dan made a face.

"There's a special place in hell for restaurant workers who deliberately ruin people's meals," Lucifer said snarkily. He smirked. "It involves a lot of clam chowder."

Chloe stared at Lucifer, shocked. "How can you just joke about…?"

Lucifer brought up his hands defensively. "Sorry, Detective." Lucifer puffed out his cheeks in annoyance at slipping up. "I guess normal people don't joke about hell."

Dan looked confused and curious. He knew he was probably going to regret asking, but... "I don't get it. Why clam chowder?"

"Well, you know that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt pees--" Lucifer started to gleefully explain.

Chloe interrupted. "Ew. Gross. Focus on the case, please."

Dan started reciting the facts of the case. "So, we have a jealous rival sushi chef who is copying our vic's signature dishes. They own a restaurant that serves sushi and has the word 'grill' in the name. They're using the same fishmonger as our victim, but we don't know who that is."

"Our vic uses high-end sushi," Ella piped up. "If we can prove the types of fish are similar to our victims' sushi, we might be able to narrow the restaurant list down. I could match the types of fish with a DNA test if I had a sample from each restaurant."

"Great, there's only 20 sushi restaurants in the L.A. area that have grill in their name," Chloe said. "I guess I'll go collect samples from them all. Ask if anyone knows our victim."

"Twenty sushi dates?" Lucifer purred. "Count me in, I love a good raw fish."

"This isn't a date, Lucifer," Chloe snapped. Silence descended in the lab. Dan and Ella suddenly busied themselves with the case folders. "I can do this myself."

"You said you wanted normal, Detective. I normally let you chase down red herrings, unless there's something in it for me. In this case, sushi." Chloe rolled her eyes. "And you normally let me tag along for my witty banter and crime solving skills."

"Fine. You can come. But this isn't a date, Lucifer." Lucifer's mouth made an "O" and he looked slightly hurt. "And no more talking about hell or favors." Lucifer looked taken aback. "Let's get going. The first restaurant closes at 3 pm."


	3. Sad fake crab roll

"Isn't this the most unromantic restaurant you've ever been in?" Lucifer complained.

They were standing in a line at the Teriyaki Grill & Roll. As they shuffled with the other lunch rush patrons, their feet stuck slightly to the tile floor. Lucifer grimaced everytime he stepped, picking up his italian loafers gingerly. A half-height barrier trapped them against the wall. The fake wood paneling extended halfway up the wall and the rest was painted a dingy beige. The paint was covered in faded brown streaks. The overhead track fluorescent lights dimly illuminated the patrons eating out of brown boxes at chipped laminate tables.

"It's a good thing we aren't on a date," Lucifer said pointedly.

Chloe gave Lucifer an annoyed look. "We are not on a date, Lucifer. We are here on a case." 

Lucifer sniffed. "I wouldn't be caught dead in such a plebian establishment, on a date or otherwise."

Chloe craned to look at the menu. It was a white slatted plastic board overhead, and some of the individual letters had fallen off. "Lucifer, we're here because this restaurant matched the profile, and they didn't have a menu online. So we're seeing if they sell any sushi with the same fish that Sushi Go Round sells."

"I don't see any sushi on the menu at all," Lucifer sniped. He looked annoyed and peered over the people in line in front of him. Lucifer nudged the detective and pointed to a tall refrigerated case in the corner by the register. "Ah, look, they have sushi rolls for take away."

Lucifer began to shove his way through the line to the refrigerated case. "Excuse me!" he exclaimed.

"Watch it!" a construction worker yelled.

"Hey, you can't cut!" a teenager growled.

"Rude!" a parent called as Lucifer waded through their four young children, hands high in the air so he wouldn't touch them.

Lucifer made it to the refrigerated case, grabbed a plastic box, and then pushed his way back to the detective. Chloe rolled her eyes. "Lucifer--" she started to chide.

"No, Detective, I'm just trying to get us out of this ecoli-ridden place faster. Look." He held up the to-go container in Chloe's face. "They only sell California rolls. And..." Lucifer popped open the box, put it on the half-wall next to them, and unrolled one of the pieces. The crab inside had a bright red coating on it. "...they're using imitation crab. Sushi Go Round only used the best fish, so Sam would have used Dungeness crab. This cockroach infested place is not a match."

"Ok, fine, you're right. Let's go." Chloe turned and walked towards the door.

"Hey! You gotta pay for that!" the worker behind the counter called.

Lucifer continued walking, but Chloe motioned for him to go back. "Fine," he sighed, and started making his way through the line again. "Excuse me, pardon me, yes, it's very important that I exchange monetary compensation for this sad fake crab roll."

Lucifer handed the cashier a hundred dollar bill. "Keep the change. I'm sure you don't make a whole lot of tips here." Lucifer grabbed a handful of wet wipe packets for his fishy fingers, and threw the to-go box in the garbage can on the way out.

\---

[Sushi montage with all kinds of sushi: simple rolls, sashimi with a Japanese basil leaf, fancy thinly sliced fresh fish with roe and microgreens on top of perfectly rounded rice.]

\---

"Those last five restaurants were quite dire, Detective. This is much more suitable, isn't it?" Lucifer said. He smiled at the fresh flowers in the tiny blue vase in the middle of the white table linen. The walls around him were shōji, the traditional paper and wood lattice from Japan. Art was scattered throughout the restaurant, mostly of tidal wave woodblock prints and kanji brush calligraphy.

"More suitable for what, Lucifer," Chloe said absentmindedly as she looked over the menu.

"A better setting for our... non-date," Lucifer quipped.

"Lucifer, will you give it a rest already?" Chloe said, exasperated.

"Give what a rest?"

"Look, I-- nevermind. Lucifer, look at this menu. There's a lot of dishes that Sushi Go Round has. Ahi tuna salad with fresh avocados and English cucumbers. Alaskan roll with salmon, real Dungeness crab, and black tobiko."

"Ocean trout. Horse mackerel." Lucifer pointed to the menu. "Those are some fairly uncommon fish."

"This could be the rival's restaurant," Chloe whispered excitedly. "We'll order some raw sushi, and take it back for Ella to do DNA testing."

The waitstaff appeared at Chloe's elbow. "Welcome to Blue Fin Grill. Have you dined with us before?"

"Uh, no, actually, it's our first time here," Chloe said.

"I highly recommend the five course dinner. It comes with miso, edamame, fresh grilled fish of the day, a tuna roll, omakase (chef's choice) of five nigiri sushi--"

"We're actually just interested in sushi," Lucifer interrupted.

"We'll have one," Chloe said. The waitstaff raised their eyebrows. "Of everything."

"Make that two of everything," Lucifer said, smiling in a charming manner. Chloe looked at him. "What? I need to eat too."

"All right, that's 40 pieces of sushi." The waitstaff paused, pen on notepad, letting the number sink in. Neither of the customers reacted. "Oookay. Will this be one check, or separate?"

"One check," Chloe said.

"But this isn't a date," Lucifer hastily added. "Just two business partners who happen to be sharing a meal."

"Why are you making this weird, Lucifer?" Chloe hissed.

"I'll just go... put this order in," the waitstaff said, hurrying off.

"I'm not making this weird, Detective. You requested that this not be a date, so I'm complying with your request."

"Fine, if you keep bringing it up, let's talk about it." Chloe took a deep breath. "Lucifer, I know that before Charlotte died, we were getting... close."

"Our kiss, you mean?" Lucifer said cautiously.

"Yes. Look, Lucifer, lately our partnership has felt like it could be something... more, but... I'm still processing the fact that you're... the devil. Even if I was interested in letting us get... closer... how can I be with someone who tortures people in hell?"

"Tortured, Detective. I don't do that anymore. And besides, I thought you didn't want me to talk about hell."

"I don't want you to joke about other people's suffering! How can you just casually drop the fact that you forced restaurant workers to eat clam chowder that someone peed in?"

Chloe's voice was getting loud. One of the patrons at another table turned towards her with a shocked face. Another spit out the miso soup they were slurping from their bowl.

"I didn't force anyone, Detective! You humans, you pick your own punishment, driven by your own guilt." Chloe was wide-eyed, but Lucifer ranted on. "I was witness to it all. Trapped. Imprisoned by my Father! Forced to oversee the darkest depravities of human souls. So you'll have to excuse me if I try to find humor in the odd ways humans deal with their regrets!" Lucifer shouted.

"Is, uh, everything all right over here?" the waitstaff was back. "Can I get you more water? Some tea?"

"No, thank you, we're fine," Chloe said soothingly. The waitstaff walked away.

They sat in silence for a moment, neither looking at each other. "Look, Lucifer, I'm sorry. I've been so shaken by finding out that hell exists that I didn't stop to think how your time in hell affected you." Lucifer shrugged, still looking hurt. "And I know you've changed since I first met you." Lucifer finally looked at Chloe. "I meant it when I said I didn't see you as the devil. But all this dark humor reminds me that's who you were."

"I can't just erase millennia of my life, Detective."

"Right, because you're immortal." Chloe ran her hand over her face. She tried for humor. "You know, it's going to be really awkward if we're still partners when I'm fifty and grey-haired and you're still... agelessly handsome."

Lucifer looked slightly panicked. "Well, some humans do age better than others..." He forced a laugh. "I'm sure you'll still be blonde at fifty just like your mother Penelope."

"That's hair dye, Lucifer."

"Your sushi," the waitstaff interrupted. They moved the flower pot and placed a giant wooden boat full of sushi on the table. They put two small plates down and soy sauce dishes, and then began to gesture at the sushi pieces. "We have ahi, coho salmon, ebi, hamachi, king crab, aji, unagi, sake, tai, hotate, ikura, umi masu, tamago, dungeness crab, anago, hokigai, amaebi, tako, uni, and fatty tuna." As the waitstaff rattled off the fish types, Lucifer opened his chopsticks and expertly broke them in half.

Chloe looked overwhelmed. "It's so hard to tell them apart! It's too bad these aren't in alphabetical order."

The waitstaff looked confused. "I can request the sushi chef--" they hesitantly said.

"No, no, that's okay."

"Let me know if you need anything else."

Chloe waited until the waitstaff left, and then examined the rows of sushi. "Okay, these look pretty similar to the fish at Sushi Go Round, but we need to take them back to Ella for DNA testing." Chloe reached into her jacket and brought out an evidence bag.

"Isn't that what take away boxes are for?" Lucifer asked as Chloe began to use her chopsticks to transfer a piece into the evidence bag.

"I was going to try to label them." Chloe grumbled. She put the baggie on the table and clicked her pen open. "Do you remember if this white fish was red snapper or halibut?"

"Excuse me, is there an issue with your meal?" The waitstaff looked horrified.

Chloe tried to cover the evidence baggy with her hand. "I, uh, no. There's nothing wrong with the meal. I'm just uh..." Chloe stuttered a bit, and then she sat up straighter. "I'm a food critic. With the L.A. Times."

The waitstaff cocked their head and looked skeptical. Chloe looked to Lucifer to back her up. Lucifer's mouth worked a bit before he said, "Why yes, I am... highly critical of food." Lucifer smiled charmingly. "A connoisseur, one might say."

"We didn't want you to know because we wanted to be treated like any other customer," Chloe added. "I'm just taking this sample back for... photos." The waitstaff looked very confused. Chloe had squished the sushi in the baggie flat in her attempt to hide it. "But now that you know, do you think I can have a chat with the head sushi chef? I heard they're the owner of Blue Fin Sushi, and I would love to include some of their backstory in our review."

"Uh, sure. Let me introduce you." Chloe and Lucifer walked across the room towards the sushi bar. "Hey Micky..." the waitstaff called.

The two sushi chefs were arguing. "What is this?" the shorter chef hissed. "I was just prepping a fresh salmon, and I found this in its belly." The shorter chef held up a large sandwich bag of white powder. The head chef made a grab for it, but the shorter chef held it behind his back.

"Relax, relax," the head chef whispered. "You're new here. I'll fill you in later. Just give it to me."

"L.A.P.D.! Drop the bag!" Chloe shouted, pushing her jacket back to reveal a badge at her hip.

The shorter chef dropped the bag and put their hands up. The head chef panicked. They grabbed the bag and ran back into the kitchen. Chloe bolted around sushi bar. Lucifer vaulted over the top.

The head chef ran through the kitchen. Lucifer was close behind. The chef threw out his hand. Metal bowls clattered down. Lucifer jumped to avoid them.

"L.A.P.D.! Freeze!" Chloe shouted.

The head chef looked behind them. They cried out at how close Lucifer was. They switched directions from running towards the back door. The head chef grabbed a thick knife and turned on Lucifer. "Back off!" They yelled. Lucifer skidded to a halt.

Chloe drew her tazer. "Drop the knife!"

"I said, back off!" the head chef said, rotating towards the back door.

"Stabbing me with that knife isn't what you really want to do, is it chef?" Lucifer's eyes locked on the chef's eyes. Chloe nervously flexed her fingers on the tazer, unwilling to drop it or interrupt Lucifer. "No, you want something different, don't you?"

The chef's mouth opened and closed, and his hand twitched. "I-- I--" he stammered. The knife began to drift down.

"Yes, tell me what you desire." Lucifer's eyes were wide, his face intense.

"Lucifer," Chloe whispered, her hands shaking on the tazer. Lucifer didn't notice her plea.

"I-- I--"

"Tell me."

"I want to beat Sam."

Lucifer cocked his head. "Sam Kobert?" The chef nodded, panting. "Well, Detective, that certainly sounds like a murder confession to me."

The head chef looked worried. "No, no, I didn't want to beat Sam physically. I wanted to beat Sam at the sushi business." Chloe kept her tazer trained on the chef. "I didn't kill them!"

"Why the running and pointing sharp objects then?" Lucifer asked.

"I didn't want you to see..." The chef paused, and clammed up.

"You didn't want us to see the bag of drugs you're holding?" Chloe quipped. The chef winced. "Drop the knife or you'll be facing attempted assault charges."

The chef breathed hard out through their nose. "Shit." They lowered their hand and tossed the knife away. Chloe approached, gun still drawn, and then forced the chef to turn around while she handcuffed them.


End file.
